


December 10

by AyeDreamer



Series: Jihoon's Muse One-Shot Collection [2]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Birthday, Breakup, Counting the Months, Disbandment, Drama & Romance, M/M, Wishful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 07:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12978804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyeDreamer/pseuds/AyeDreamer
Summary: What's great about December?To some people, it's Christmas. To others, it's winter and snow. It could also be the year-end fireworks, and more.But to Kang Daniel?That would be oneDecember 10.





	December 10

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to the softest peach in the world, kang daniel!~~  
> (err a late bday present ; _ ; i couldn't finish it on time) i do hope he had an amazing day with his family and members! work that bode, our legendary harry pote.

**Kang Daniel**

_December 2017_

This month is probably the greatest month of the year. Certainly not because it's Christmas and there's snow everywhere. I get to jump around the fluffy snow, make snow-angels, a two-headed snowman (because three would take too long to build and I get cold easily), and taste the snowflakes falling from the white glittering sky. Certainly not because of that! December is stuck between a melancholy and a happy month.

It's melancholy because it's the last month of the year which means it's a time for reflection and weighing how much I got done in the past year. Usually they're trivial things like not failing a course, surviving the flu or simply clinging onto hope. I train and dance in the same practice room every day after school. Sometimes I feel self-conscious. Despite arranging b-boy gigs and having the chance to be a backup dancer for a hugely-known artist like Lee Hyori, they still weren't enough. I want to stand on stage singing my own song and dancing to a choreography made specifically for me and my members. It was a dream that seemed to turn hollow each passing year due to a never ending _wait_.

However, I can also say that it's a happy month because

...wait for it...

...wait a bit more...

....read a little longer....

.....see how much waiting sucks....?

December is the month of my birthday. Mom buys a cake and we celebrate with Rooney and Peter, my two precious cats. The 10th marks the day where I was brought to life, reminding me that I've turned an added year old. So I get even more desperate. Thirsty for debut!

I auditioned for Produce 101 and made it! I was happy! **Center Kang Daniel**. It has a nice ring to it. I never thought about placing first. But I'm wholeheartedly grateful for all the support.

Aside from finally debuting, I gained many other things this year: fans, love, appreciation and loving members whom I have come to treasure. I very much realize this now as we enter the month of December, and recalling the months of being together made me greatly attached.

December was that month. It held only one December 10.

"Wake up, Niel hyung." I open my eyes and the first thing I see is _him_ and the impatient hand on my shoulder _._ I chuckle inside because the melancholy part of my month now seizes to exist. And it's all because of his scent and his touch. "Happy birthday," he softly whispers and I crumble with joy as he follows up with a sweet smile. I can't help but think, *Wow, beautiful! The most beautiful boy in the world is probably--no, not just probably--surely! is no other than **Park Jihoon**.*

A game buddy! A cute and energetic soul! An important _err_ friend!

I wince at my choice of words.

What's best to describe him, you may ask?

That would be my _unrequited_ love.

Uh-oh, my heart is depressed! A frown is forming! Quick! Smile before he sees!

"Well this is a nice morning to wake up to," I say with a short laugh. Jihoon is standing beside my bed sporting a cute jean jumper and an apple-hair. He looked absolutely adorable! I look around and discover that it was only the two of us in the room. Both Seongwoo hyung and Jisung hyung were already gone after making their beds.

"The hyungs are busy cooking a special breakfast for you," Jihoon says casually. "I don't have anything to help them with anymore so I came here to hang. I bet they wanted to greet you first, but I did it before any of them could, heh."

I try to hold back a smile from his words but ultimately fail.

I don't know what compelled me to do it but it could have been from the rapid beating of my heart and the tempting sight before me. But I did something I didn't think I'd ever have the guts to do. I ask, "Want to join me?" I slide towards the wall, my back flat against it in anxiousness to give him space for the bed. I offer an inviting entry underneath the blankets. "It's warm here."

His cheeks turn red and I didn't have to look at a mirror to know that I was wearing the same shade of colour on my face. He fiddles with the jumper while biting down on his lip. "O-only for a little bit since I'm still kinda sleepy," he mumbles before slipping in to lie down beside me (with his back turned). My heart is drumming louder and faster than ever and I desperately prayed for Jihoon not to hear it.

"Hyung," he shyly says before digging his face deeper into my pillow. His tiny hands had curled around the comforters. "Y-your heart...I can hear it...!"

Okay, so praying was futile.

I _nearly_ let out a whimper in response. "I-I don't know how to make it stop! I'm s-sorry!"

Slowly and with short hesitance, he turns to face me. He's avoiding eye-contact to which I completely understand because of how awkward the situation has come to be. He places a hand against my chest. I flinch and instantly held my breath. He places the other hand against his lips; the index finger alone before proceeding to let out a hush.

"Shh."

I panic. "Are you trying to hush my heart?! That's not going to make it slow down you know!"

He panics in return. "Then how are we supposed to calm it down!? Wait, oh-my-god, it's beating faster, hyung! Are you sick!?"

"I'm not sick! It's your hand! Your hand is making it beat faster!"

Jihoon retracts his hand and whines. "Sorry! I thought that would help!"

"You aren't going to get it to stop if you're this close!" I say in hysteria.

He stares at me, significantly offended, so he scoots back. "You were the one who told me to sleep with you!"

I choke. And he panics again. "I didn't mean it like that!!"

My heart is still rapidly beating against my chest.

He scoots even further back, gasps when he almost fell off the bed if I hadn't immediately grabbed him. Pulling him to my body, I held him in shock. "Are you crazy!? You could've fallen off!"

"You told me not to get so close! Yet here you are holding me against you!" he complains, close to yelling, but doesn't move away.

We're both puffing for air because of the constant back-to-back shouts. I was just about to say something when the door suddenly slams open.

"Niel-ah~ Happy birth- AHHHH! What the fuck, Niel!? If I knew you were going to get some birthday sex, a fair warning by the door would be nice!" Seongwoo hyung screams. "Something like 'do not enter unless you want to see my bare dick'!"

Jihoon is flushed completely feeling embarrassed as he hides further into my neck. He doesn't have it in him to even look at his hyung so I pat his back in comfort. "Hyung," I say with a glare. "We're not even naked. We were just sleeping." *Planned to anyway.*

"You hug when you sleep? Really? You expect me to believe that shit?"

"And hugging is suddenly having sex?"

"The appropriate term is _cuddling_ and cuddling always leads to sex."

"Seongwoo hyung, please," Jihoon interupts. "We weren't doing anything."

The 1995 liner boy scoffs. "You pressed against Daniel is **something**. Anyway, as long as I don't get stuck with babysitting, have babies for all I care. Get up and join us in the kitchen. Everyone is waiting for the birthday boy. Oh, and make sure there are no hickeys to be seen or Jisung hyung will have a heart attack."

Woojin pops out of nowhere and says, "Too late, Jisung hyung is already passed out in the couch. He heard you say something about Daniel hyung and sex. Actually, everyone heard. Jinyoung is going up to everyone who's breathing to inform them that Jihoon is no longer a virgin. I don't get why he's so enthusiastic about it. Congrats, Jihoonie."

In all his mighty glory, Jihoon grabs my pillow and chucks it, hitting Seongwoo square on the face. "You're going to pay for this, Seongwoo hyung!"

At the midst of all the commotion, I continue to stare dreamily at the boy who's captured my affection.

I'm in too deep.

 

 

_January 2018_

We start off slow.

It's now pretty obvious to everyone that I have a crush on Jihoon, and Jihoon himself knows it too. At first it was awkward so I put on some distance in order to not burden him with my feelings. But it ended up upsetting the younger boy. He complained how I've been rejecting our gaming-nights too much, asking if he had done something wrong. I immediately shake my head because no he can never do wrong, not to me at least.

During the last week of the month, I tell him the truth, "It's because I like you. I would be taking advantage of the situation where I get to have you all to myself."

My eyes only widen at his response.

"Then take advantage of it."

 

 

_February 2018_

I'm not exactly sure who started it but one morning, Jihoon and I find each other playing _footsie_. It just so happens that we were sitting right across from one another and it was so cute how he was trying to hold back his laugh by consistently shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

I look no better.

At some point, Jihoon had rubbed against a very ticklish spot right above my ankle that had me hitting my knees underneath the table in surprise. The members shot me a curious and worried stare. "You okay, hyung?" Daehwi asks.

"Why are you so fidgety?" Jaehwan raises a brow.

"Jihoon hyung too," Guanlin comments. He's always aware of his Jihoon hyung.

Meanwhile, Seongwoo can't believe what he's hearing. *It is beyond ridiculous!* Frowning, the older boy lowers his chopsticks down to say, "I swear to god you two better not be touching each other underneath the table. I will not be responsible for blessing this sacred place clean for your nasty doings. Keep it in your pants and let us eat as innocent beings."

"Amen," everyone except for me and Jihoon choruses.

Our feet _sadly_ retract back.

 

 

_March 2018_

It's flustering but Jihoon has been reciprocating my skin ship lately. More than ever actually. Sometimes, I don't even realize it but my arm is suddenly wrapped around his shoulder; either when we're sitting beside each other on the couch while gaming, or when we stand side by side listening to the PD go through rehearsals with us. My arm has a mind of its own.

So maybe his head shares the same independent agency. Because believe or not, Jihoon is leaning his head against my chest as I tug him close.

*I'm dreaming.* I think one day. "I have got to be dreaming," my mouth copies aloud.

Seongwoo who was sitting on the other couch with Woojin snorts, "If this is you dreaming, then this is me having a nightmare. I never asked to witness any of your romantic moments together! Ugh, seeing you two makes me want to puke."

Woojin who had been quiet the whole time voices, "Seongwoo hyung, you need a boyfriend."

"I do. Want to apply for it?"

I arch a brow. "You do know me and Jihoon aren't dating."

They look at me with the most annoying faces ever (the mocking look). "Kang Daniel, are you a dumbass or are you a real dumbass?" I take offense at Seongwoo's words.

"Am I what?"

"What is Jihoon doing?" Woojin asks.

"Uh, leaning on me?" I answer.

He rolls his eyes. "What do you **think** Jihoon is doing?"

"He's leaning on me!" I insist.

"He's flirting with you!" Woojin shouts.

My words come spluttering out, "W-wha what?"

The subject of my affection finally decides to say something. Jihoon says, "Woojin, he's never going to get it until I tell him straight to his face."

"When are you going to tell him then?" both Seongwoo and Woojin question.

"I'm having fun right now. So maybe on another day."

I stare at Jihoon with a dumbfounded look. "Why are you guys talking about me like I'm not even in the room? What do you mean by tell 'him'? Tell me what?"

"That you're cute when you lend me your broad chest. Now, let's focus on the movie. This is where they sneak the ace of card out of the special room without getting detected."

Yeah, I tuned everything else out after he said _you're cute_.

 

 

_April 2018_

"Jihoon hyung, you're going to make him cry!" Daehwi shouts.

I think I have fallen for a devil. So today I decided to confess my feelings to Jihoon and properly ask him out. I finally said the words, _Will you be my boyfriend?_ And then he tells me, "I will consider it if you peel me 101 onions."

It was absurd! Who in their right mind would peel 101 onions?

W H O !?

Me.

 _Fuck_.

I had ordered Woojin and Guanlin to buy more onions at the grocery store with Jisung hyung to drive them. I was only at my second onion, but tears were already brimming from my eyes. What more when I need to peel 99 more!

By the fourth onion, I was crying. They wouldn't stop falling and my sleeves were damped from wiping them away. My eyes were surely red but my resolution stayed strong. I can do this!

On my eight onion, my arms had turned wobbly. I could barely hold the onion in place. The only thing keeping me going was the thought of Jihoon's answer to my confession so I urged further.

During the peeling of my tenth onion, my hand accidentally slips. The knife I was holding grazed my finger, cutting through the skin until it started bleeding.

Everyone who had been watching me take on the silly challenge gasps. Jihoon is the first person to run to my side. "Hyung, be careful!"

There's a lot of blood for such a small cut. It doesn't even hurt, honestly. But Jihoon is panicking and apologizing frantically as he holds my bleeding finger under the pouring water from the sink. "I'm sorry! It was a dumb request that I made up on the spot just because I didn't know how to tell you..! You should've refused!"

I take his shaking hand with my free one. "Jihoon, you don't have to apologize. You also don't have to give me a response out of kindness. You have the right to reject me. Group mate, friend or not. If you don't like me, say it. I will understand."

He shakes his head. "That's not fair. I do like you. I really like you, Daniel hyung. I just didn't know how to say it properly. I'm weak with words when it comes to you. It's because I'm afraid of showing you how deep I've fallen for you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing but apparently, Jihoon likes me back! And as much as I do! My heart swells with happiness.

I open my mouth to speak, ready to tell him how I-

"Hold up, guys," Seongwoo interrupts and I instantly groan. "If you two are going to kiss, answer now so we can all turn around to avoid seeing it."

I throw him the dirtiest look I could muster before saying, "You all have three seconds. One, two..."

Quickly, the members turn around in panic. "I can't believe you two!" Sungwoon cries in horror.

Checking that their backs are turned (not that it mattered to me if they watch or not), my gaze is on Jihoon again who's looking at me with twinkling eyes.

 _Three_.

I bent over to press my lips against his. They were soft and very warm. He shyly returns it with the same amount of pressure that made me feel delight. Then I got greedy. I close the water tap, quickly wipe it on the towel hanging by the stove before encircling both my hands around Jihoon's thin waist. I tug him closer to my body, licking and nibbling at his bottom lip. He whimpers but doesn't pull back. Instead, I feel his arms snaking around my neck, kissing me harder.

"Oh god, I heard a whimper! They are totally going to have sex in the kitchen! Fuck this, I'm out."

"Me too!"

"I'm gone!"

"Ahhh! My ears have been violated!"

One by one, the members disappear into their respective rooms but we pay them no attention except for memorizing the feeling of our flushed bodies glued to one another.

I don't hear the door open nor do I hear the people come in.

The next thing that happens is the appearance of a scream that pierces through the air in shock that sounds awfully familiar. It inevitably has me and Jihoon parting from our moment.

"I did not take the kids with me to buy 100 onions, only to come back and see you two sucking each other's faces!" Yep. Definitely Jisung hyung. "When were you guys going to tell me that you're engaged?"

My eyes widen "Engaged? We literally just got together a minute ago!"

It was his turn to widen his eyes. "G-Got together a minute ago? Excuse you, Kang Daniel. But don't think I have forgotten about last year's December when you two had morning birthday sex!"

"WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!"

They don't believe me.

 

 

_May 2018_

This month is probably my second favourite month after December. May holds the day of my most precious person in the world, Jihoon's birthday. It hasn't been long since we got together but one may describe it as a blissful time. Without having the need for second thoughts, I'm free to hold Jihoon whenever I want. Off-cam (absolutely), but on-cam isn't something I worry about either.

Naturally, I would pick Jihoon to be on my team whenever there's a team game we have to do. Naturally, I would take a sip from the same water bottle Jihoon chose to drink from. Naturally, I get sulky when Jihoon is paired up with a different member for a couple game. Naturally, my face breaks into a smile whenever Jihoon initiates the skin-ship between us.

And undoubtedly, without question, I fall deeper in love with Jihoon each passing day.

"I wanted to get you the stars that match your eyes, but then I realized that there's no star or galaxy comparable to the ones you hold. So even if it's visually lacking, I hope you like the gift I got you."

It's a silver promising ring with a star-shaped diamond in the center.

"Happy birthday to my most precious person in the world."

I insert the ring around his finger before looking up to see his lips trembling. "You're the first person to ever give me a ring. You better take responsibility."

His words made me chuckle, "That's good because you're the first person I've ever loved this much! I'll gladly take responsibility of you."

 

 

_June 2018_

Wanna One barely gets a break but Jihoon and I make sure to spend some quality time together either with friends or with just the two of us when we're given the chance. The members, despite the jokes and the teasing looks they often throw at us, have been very supportive of our relationship. When Jihoon is feeling cuddly, both Jisung hyung and Seongwoo hyung would leave the room quietly to give us some privacy. Especially since Jihoon and I often have individual schedules that separates us most of the day. Or whenever I'm missing Jihoon and slightly feeling jealous of certain members when my very own naive boy gets touchy with others, Woojin would somehow notice and drag him to me.

"He's all yours, Daniel hyung. Don't worry." And those words would make me light up like a lamp.

"Thank you for understanding, Woojin." I'd say each time.

There were even times where they came to our rescue whenever the managers would ask me where I was taking Jihoon so late at night.

"Fresh air." "They're going to the dance studio to practice." "Eat out. They've been stressed."

This goes on for the whole month where the members come to deal with our childish antics.

I've never been so grateful of having such amazing members.

 

 

_July 2018_

"Why did you do it?"

"It was on the script. I had to follow what it said."

His nonchalant response only made me feel angrier. "You could've faked it! Used a double or put a thumb in between your mouths, yet you insisted on actually kissing her!"

"I'm an actor. It would have been unprofessional of me to do any of the things you just suggested."

"Liar. Admit it that you find her attractive. You've fallen for her, haven't you?"

"Hyung, I really don't need you to be whiny right now. I just got back from work. If you're going to get jealous, choose a better date."

"She likes you! She told you! We both know! But you still went ahead and kissed her! Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you not care at all about how much you've hurt me?"

He stares at me with dead eyes. "Daniel hyung, I'm tired."

And just like that I back off. But not without carrying a broken heart. I never even thought about it. Maybe because I had been too trusting to lend him my love. And that led to where we are now. Jihoon slipped up. Maybe I should've been more understanding. Maybe I should've talked to him properly on a somewhat better day where we both weren't mentally and emotionally exhausted.

But what's done is done.

We take a time off.

 

 

_August 2018_

There's tension in the air.

The members know it but choose to say nothing. They endure the pretend smiles and business-like responses from Jihoon and I. It was the only thing they could do; to cooperate with the performance. Everyone silently agreed to not bring any personal issues to our profession. Especially if these would affect the group's dynamic and tarnish not only their image but the other member's as well.

When Jihoon and I had a schedule together, we acted as normal as possible-- feigning closeness. Surprisingly, it helped. The more we pretended, the easier it was to become accustomed with each other's presence again. Jihoon's drama does well in terms of viewer ratings and I at least had the goodwill to congratulate him. We were slowly returning back to our normal selves.

We were getting there.

We were.

 **BREAKING NEWS** : Wanna One's Park Jihoon rumored to be in a relationship with his Co.Star

YMC Entertainment and XXX Entertainment **confirms** the rumor.

It was supposed to be a time off. We didn't actually nor officially break up. There was no closure between us. But why does it feel like I was dumped a month ago without even my knowledge.

I'm back to faking, to pretending. _It doesn't hurt_ , I tell myself every single time Jihoon is asked about his **girlfriend**  and he replies with a smile that was no longer meant for me. 

 _It doesn't hurt_.

It _doesn't hurt_.

It doesn't _hurt_.

The phrase comes out as a mantra as I lie on my bed with the blankets tightly wrapped around my body. I know I'm shivering. I know I'm crying. I also know I'm lying.

Because Jihoon, if I were to tell you the truth,

It. Fucking. Hurts.

 

 

_September 2018_

"Niel, are you okay?" Jisung hyung had been up my ass too close recently. He's always trying to get into my business. "You shouldn't be drinking too much. We have a schedule tomorrow."

I glare at him when he takes the can of beer away from my hand. "Give that back."

He looks at me with a disappointed look. "You've been like this ever since a few weeks ago. Does it involve Jihoon? I thought you were both okay now."

"Well you thought wrong."

I voice out before I could even think about my choice of words. His eyes widen and I wish I could take it back. I didn't want to make Jihoon look bad and to be honest, he had done nothing wrong. It was possible to assume that we broke up after that night. Without having to say it with words, we stopped talking--stopped trying to understand one another--that should've been enough.

He assumed we were over. And I should've assumed the same thing.

"Will you tell me? Please, I don't like seeing you like this." I've known Jisung hyung for a long time. I know I was hurting him by being so distant and closed-off from him. It showed with the way his voice cracked by trying to make me confess, and his efforts reached me.

I couldn't stop the tears that one by one slid down my cheeks.

"I-I still love him hyung." I hiccupped. "I still love Jihoon." 

 

 

_October 2018_

Wanna One comes back with their final album. End was nearing for us. Instead of focusing on my fail love life, I pour all my attention into work. I'm the last person to leave the practice room and also the last one to take a shower and go to bed. This time it's not because I was up gaming all night but because I really wanted to give my all for this comeback.

I wanted to show everyone that they didn't make a mistake in picking me as their center. I reflected on my passion and on why I became an idol in the first place.

I wouldn't say that this is me moving on. Because let's face it-- it's almost impossible to move on from someone like Jihoon. This was me distracting myself. To keep myself sane.

The free time we had back before this comeback's promotion was spent on watching movies with Jisung hyung and Seongwoo hyung. As my roommates and the only two people I've ever confessed to saying 'I still love Jihoon', they supported me and pretended with me.

"Jihoon hyung," Daehwi says one day. "I'm not trying to be rude or anything but did you see the news this morning? Your girlfriend was caught leaving a hotel with another actor. It's only a misunderstanding though, right? The reporters just want to dirty both of your images. You talked to her yet?"

The following response was something I didn't expect to come from a mile away.

"I don't know. And I don't care."

Everyone is now paying attention to their conversation with either a surprise or disturbed expression on their face. "You don't care?" Daehwi asks. "Aren't you worried that she may be cheating on you?"

"No," Jihoon says before sliding back his chair and standing up to go into his room. "She can do whatever she wants."

 

 

_November 2018_

**BREAKING NEWS** : Wanna One's Park Jihoon and Actress XXX have broken up

Wanna One does well this comeback. We get a Perfect-All-Kill and are close to selling 1 Million physical albums. Everyone was stuck between feeling happy or feeling sad. Because even though we were doing well on the charts and with receiving the public's affection, the forbidden word was closer than ever. It was becoming real. Our **disbandment**.

It was normal for all of us to tear up in front of the fans while we have a fan-meet, fan-concert or when we win on a music show. We've become very fragile and sentimental as time moves on.

"We would like to thank everyone who has supported all eleven of us since now. For voting and choosing us as your top picks, and giving us the chance to debut as Wanna One, there are not enough words to tell you how grateful and happy we are for the love you've shown us for the past two years. This may be our last stage together but it's not the actual end. Someday we will all gather and meet with you again in complete to reminisce these heavenly days when Wanna One and Wannables existed as one big family. Thank you for everything, producers-nim!

Lastly, it has been-" leader Jisung chokes on his words before finally saying his final words,

"All I Wanna Do, Wanna One!"

 

 

_December 2018_

We're back with my favourite month of the year.

It's a lonely one.

There were still dedicated fans that showered their love for me by sending me kind messages or managing a support project. I was happy because it truly wasn't the end yet. Someday I will debut again to stand back on stage. Even if it's with different members, I could live my dream again.

Despite being a former Wanna One member, I was still scheduled for an individual interview. The fans wanted to know how I would be spending the last month of the year so I tell them.

"To Daniel, what is significant about December?" the host asks.

"Wouldn't that be December 10," I reply with a smile.

"Of course! December 10 is your birthday, isn't it!? Out of all the birthdays you've had, is there one that was truly memorable to you?"

"I would love to say that all of my birthdays are memorable to me but I don't have that good of a memory to remember what I did on my first, second, third or fourth birthday." I laugh. "But if I were to choose one, I would have to say last year. My 21st birthday was a memorable one."

"Can you tell us what makes your 21st so memorable?"

"First of all, I celebrated it twice. One was with my mother and two precious cats, and the other was with the Wanna One members. I got to go back to Busan and visit my home. Mom made me seaweed soup and we pretty much spent our day relaxing and talking about the past and future. It was really nice. With the members, they greeted me well and even cooked a special breakfast for me. I was really touched by all the things they did for me that day even if it started off a little chaotic in the morning."

"Speaking about your members, I know it hasn't been that long but do you miss them?"

"I miss them every day. Every minute. Every second. Though I know everyone is busy doing their own thing right now, I hope we all meet again soon."

_I hope I see him again soon._

 

 

Jisung hyung and I decided to room together in the same dorm. Although except for me, he has yet to pack his things. After the disbandment, he decided to go home for awhile to take a break from idol activities. Especially since our company have yet to plan our debut. I too went home for a bit but recently just got back on the exact date of my birthday. Mom and I celebrated my birthday a day early because she had to attend an important business trip the following day to which I wholeheartedly understood.

It's December 10, the actual day of my birthday, which I plan to spend alone with the television on.

I had bought a small chocolate cake from the convenience store across the road and a tub of vanilla ice cream as a short self-celebration. It was pretty cool and relaxing to do something so normal.

But I also couldn't shrug the depressed feeling to when I compare this day to last year's celebration. I truly do miss the members.

At some point, I find myself searching up Wanna One's old clips on YouTube and binge watching them until my eyes turned dry. I'm not going to lie when I say that I was staring at a specific someone the whole time whenever they appeared on camera. I softly chuckle when I scroll down the comments and see fans talking about how beautiful Jihoon looked on screen. I wanted to protest and tell them that he looks even more beautiful in person, and that they won't ever believe that such a person exists.

My stomach lurches at the sudden feeling of yearning.

*I wonder how he's doing. I wonder if he's ever even thought about me since.*

A knock on the door shakes me back to reality. I stare at it with curiosity.

Did Jisung hyung choose to come back without telling me first?

I place my tub of ice cream on the center-table before standing up from the couch with a few leg stretches. With light steps, I reach for the knob to turn it. The door opens and a familiar silhouette appears.

I couldn't stop myself from holding my breath in surprise.

 

"Happy birthday my love, Niel hyung."


End file.
